1 00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:02,900 Bye. 2 00:00:35,980 --> 00:00:40,480 much for joining us it has been a busy week europe got to enjoy a solar eclipse 3 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:45,360 nigel farage won a by-election so stupid the candidate in second place with over 4 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:51,100 a quarter of the vote by the way was count bin face and the iran war dragged 5 00:00:51,100 --> 00:00:54,180 on with a series of humiliating news headlines including this revelation 6 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:58,390 about trump's trip home from last month's nato summit New details of the 7 00:00:58,390 --> 00:01:02,350 elaborate operation by the Secret Service to covertly swap President 8 00:01:02,350 --> 00:01:06,990 Trump's planes amid fears of an Iranian assassination plot. The president had 9 00:01:06,990 --> 00:01:11,570 arrived aboard his Qatari gifted Air Force One, but raised eyebrows by 10 00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:16,230 announcing he'd take an older plane home, sending the new plane ahead to a 11 00:01:16,230 --> 00:01:17,230 British airbase. 12 00:01:17,260 --> 00:01:21,560 The Washington Post now reports that the president immediately sneaked off the 13 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:26,100 plane and onto a catering truck that whisked him off to a smaller military 14 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:30,660 jet. In video from that day, you see the president boarding with a wave. 15 00:01:30,900 --> 00:01:34,320 But as the camera pulls back, there's a catering truck below. 16 00:01:34,780 --> 00:01:38,800 Five minutes later, the press seem boarding the back of the plane as that 17 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:43,520 catering truck pulls away, reportedly with the president concealed inside. 18 00:01:44,460 --> 00:01:45,460 Fantastic. 19 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:49,660 The only problem I can see there is, next time he needs to escape, he's not 20 00:01:49,660 --> 00:01:53,340 going to be able to use the catering truck trick again because everyone knows 21 00:01:53,340 --> 00:01:57,040 about it now. People are going to be suspicious from now on if they see a 22 00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:02,380 plane go one way, a catering truck go another, and an enormous man-sized cake 23 00:02:02,380 --> 00:02:06,180 get wheeled away by two suspiciously jacked chefs. 24 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,419 For one, it clearly doesn't look great. 25 00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:12,840 for a president to be emergency hiding in a catering truck. It looks even worse 26 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:17,040 when you remember a lot of other people were still on that plane that he was 27 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,060 smuggled off on. 28 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:23,720 Still on board the 747, though, dozens of journalists and White House staffers, 29 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:28,080 as well as Secretary of State Marco Rubio and Treasury Secretary Scott 30 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:32,280 Besnick. That plane lifting off, believed to be the intended target. 31 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:34,340 Yeah, not great. 32 00:02:35,020 --> 00:02:38,980 There were a lot of innocent people on that plane, and also Marco Rubio. 33 00:02:39,820 --> 00:02:44,040 Meanwhile, for those actually having to fight this war, it's been grim. Just 34 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:47,700 this week, we learned horrendous details about conditions on the USS Abraham 35 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:52,340 Lincoln, which has been deployed for more than 250 days, including over 200 36 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:56,780 without a port call, which is apparently more than any other aircraft carrier in 37 00:02:56,780 --> 00:02:57,780 the modern era. 38 00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:00,980 Life on that ship sounds like it's been desperate. 39 00:03:01,470 --> 00:03:05,150 Families reportedly confronted Navy leaders at town halls last week, 40 00:03:05,250 --> 00:03:09,930 describing moldy showers, broken toilets, food shortages, and no soap or 41 00:03:09,930 --> 00:03:13,890 toothpaste. Families of those on board told the Military Times at least two 42 00:03:13,890 --> 00:03:16,030 sailors have tried to jump from the carrier. 43 00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,310 Danielle Rapa's son is on board. 44 00:03:18,590 --> 00:03:23,090 He describes the overall experience as a scene out of the American Horror Story, 45 00:03:23,330 --> 00:03:28,030 where he feels like everybody is dead, but they don't know it yet. 46 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:32,980 Well, that's not good. You never want to be in a position where you describe your 47 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,940 job as a scene out of American horror story. 48 00:03:36,420 --> 00:03:40,440 Honestly, if you absolutely have to choose a Ryan Murphy show for your 49 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:44,120 workplace to resemble, the obvious answer is all's fair. Kim Kardashian, 50 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:48,480 Nisi Nashbet, Tiana Taylor, Naomi Watts, Sarah Paulson, and Glenn Close in 51 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:52,300 different shades of magenta suits, as well as dialogue like this. 52 00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:55,060 Car. Sweet. How are you? 53 00:03:55,630 --> 00:03:59,510 Never mind me. How are you holding up, you poor discarded comrade? 54 00:03:59,770 --> 00:04:04,970 Yeah, that's the Ryan Murphy production you're going to want to be sucking. 55 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,600 Not this floating fucking nightmare. 56 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:11,840 Now, Pete Hegseth has claimed that the ship conditions are being completely 57 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:15,700 misrepresented by those who are actually experiencing them, saying, we make sure 58 00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:18,980 that every ship, every crew, every captain has everything we can provide at 59 00:04:18,980 --> 00:04:23,800 every single moment. And if he means to go certifiably insane, I'm inclined to 60 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:27,000 agree with him there. But the administration's list of the resources 61 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,600 offered on board has not been reassuring. 62 00:04:30,110 --> 00:04:35,130 A U.S. official tells ABC News they have not seen an uptick in mental health 63 00:04:35,130 --> 00:04:40,130 issues and say the Lincoln has a variety of resources on board, including one 64 00:04:40,130 --> 00:04:44,730 clinical psychologist, five chaplains, and three behavioral health technicians. 65 00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:51,050 They also have one therapy dog on board named Captain Fathom, whose job it is to 66 00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:52,870 ease anxiety among the crew. 67 00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:57,470 Holy shit, that is way too much pressure to put on one dog. 68 00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:02,150 Especially one with a thousand-yard fare like that. 69 00:05:02,930 --> 00:05:06,670 He doesn't seem like a therapy dog so much as a dog who desperately needs 70 00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:07,670 therapy. 71 00:05:07,930 --> 00:05:11,410 I'm just saying there is absolutely a CVS that has a bottle of Lexapro with 72 00:05:11,410 --> 00:05:13,290 Captain Fathom's name on it. 73 00:05:13,770 --> 00:05:17,370 And look, there'll clearly be more to say about Iran going forward, but for 74 00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:20,270 now, we're actually going to dive straight in with our main story this 75 00:05:20,270 --> 00:05:21,470 week, which concerns pregnancy. 76 00:05:21,790 --> 00:05:24,890 A great way to still not get a seat on the subway. 77 00:05:25,900 --> 00:05:29,020 Specifically, I want to talk about something called fetal personhood, the 78 00:05:29,020 --> 00:05:33,420 concept that a fetus is, from conception, a separate, unique human 79 00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:37,940 with its own rights distinct from the person it's rather unavoidably inside. 80 00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:41,840 The concept is, unsurprisingly, usually associated with the anti-abortion 81 00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:45,000 movement, and post-Dobbs, it's been getting a lot more attention. 82 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:50,420 Fetal personhood is a once fringe idea now at the centre of anti-abortion 83 00:05:50,420 --> 00:05:54,780 advocacy. The fetal personhood movement aims to grant full legal rights and 84 00:05:54,780 --> 00:05:59,460 protections to fetuses, and in some cases, embryos. About a third of states 85 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:03,080 have established fetal personhood by law or judicial decision. 86 00:06:03,540 --> 00:06:06,760 Okay, first, nice Horton here's a who sign there, though. 87 00:06:07,630 --> 00:06:10,990 You should probably know, according to Dr Seuss' biographer, back in the 80s, 88 00:06:10,990 --> 00:06:14,410 he actually threatened to sue an anti-abortion rights group that used 89 00:06:14,410 --> 00:06:17,990 that quote on its stationery, after which they backed down, which is a 90 00:06:17,990 --> 00:06:21,930 little surprising, given stay out of my fucking business is not usually a 91 00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:24,170 message these groups tend to respond to. 92 00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:28,630 The fetal personhood idea can be embedded in laws in a bunch of different 93 00:06:28,630 --> 00:06:32,850 ways, and some can initially sound appealing, like ones that make it a 94 00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:36,130 crime to cause the death of an unborn child during an act of domestic 95 00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:42,300 violence. But once the law recognizes a fetus as a separate victim, if you get 96 00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:47,300 pregnant, that same logic can quickly be weaponized against you and in all sorts 97 00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:48,279 of ways. 98 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:52,700 Hundreds of women across the country have been arrested or lost custody of 99 00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:55,380 their children for reasons related to their pregnancies. 100 00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:59,340 Brittany Watts, a 33-year-old black woman, says she went to the hospital 101 00:06:59,340 --> 00:07:02,520 multiple times after bleeding during her pregnancy. 102 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:07,640 Watts returned home where she suffered a miscarriage. Now she's being charged 103 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:12,320 with abuse of a corpse. A woman from Alabama suffered a miscarriage after 104 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:16,660 being shot. And now she's being charged with manslaughter for the death of her 105 00:07:16,660 --> 00:07:17,660 unborn child. 106 00:07:18,110 --> 00:07:22,870 Wow, that is bleak. If you suffer a miscarriage after being shot, you 107 00:07:22,870 --> 00:07:24,910 shouldn't be charged with manslaughter. 108 00:07:25,150 --> 00:07:29,050 That's one of those sentences I never thought I'd end up needing to say out 109 00:07:29,050 --> 00:07:33,790 loud, like, cocaine pollution gives salmon wanderlust, or young Richard 110 00:07:33,790 --> 00:07:34,810 Nixon was hot. 111 00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:39,150 Yikes, by the way, I would let that guy break into my Watergate hotel. 112 00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:44,550 And that is just the beginning here, because over the years, the fetal 113 00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:48,250 personhood has been the basis of legal cases involving everything from a 114 00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:51,210 pregnant woman who fell down a flight of stairs and who was charged with 115 00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:55,290 attempted fetal homicide, to a bonkers story involving this woman. She was in 116 00:07:55,290 --> 00:07:59,130 the middle of a long delivery and was a professional doula, by the way. She'd 117 00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:03,870 had three prior C-sections and hoped to avoid a fourth, only to find the 118 00:08:03,870 --> 00:08:06,010 situation suddenly out of her hands. 119 00:08:06,590 --> 00:08:11,170 She was in her 12th hour of labor in the hospital when Sharice Doiley suddenly 120 00:08:11,170 --> 00:08:16,790 found herself in front of a Florida judge from her hospital bed. A nurse 121 00:08:16,790 --> 00:08:21,950 wheeling in a tablet with the judge, doctors, lawyers, and others on Zoom. 122 00:08:22,270 --> 00:08:24,950 That was exactly when I found out that we were going to court. 123 00:08:27,850 --> 00:08:32,210 Video obtained by NBC News shows the 32-year-old Black woman in her hospital 124 00:08:32,210 --> 00:08:36,409 bed pulled into a virtual emergency court hearing as Florida state attorneys 125 00:08:36,409 --> 00:08:39,530 on behalf of the hospital sought a court-ordered C-section. 126 00:08:39,809 --> 00:08:43,630 Nobody is here to speak for me. When Doily asks if she can call a lawyer or a 127 00:08:43,630 --> 00:08:47,830 patient advocate, the judge says... There's not a constitutional right to 128 00:08:47,830 --> 00:08:49,730 counsel in one of these proceedings. 129 00:08:50,860 --> 00:08:53,500 Holy shit, that is a fucking outrage. 130 00:08:53,860 --> 00:08:58,260 Every part of that is wrong, including that it should be illegal to make a 131 00:08:58,260 --> 00:09:01,520 woman giving birth get on a video call of any kind. 132 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:04,960 I don't even like being on a Zoom when I am not giving birth. 133 00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:11,320 And for the record, how, 12 hours into Labour, was she composed enough to ask 134 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:15,380 for counsel so calmly there? She could have reasonably screamed, shit, piss, 135 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:19,440 cock, motherfucker, and changed her Zoom background into a million middle 136 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:23,400 fingers, and any smart judge would have said, you're right, that's an entirely 137 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:24,400 fair point. 138 00:09:25,410 --> 00:09:28,150 Fetal personhood isn't just a fringe idea. 139 00:09:28,390 --> 00:09:32,110 It's been a quiet goal of the anti-abortion movement for decades now. 140 00:09:32,230 --> 00:09:35,290 But it's been picking up real speed in recent years. 141 00:09:35,490 --> 00:09:39,130 In 2023, a group of anti-abortion lawyers and activists even explicitly 142 00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:44,570 set a post-op goal of recognising fetal personhood. And with this Supreme Court, 143 00:09:44,730 --> 00:09:46,730 I frankly wouldn't bet against them. 144 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:50,560 So given all of that tonight, let's talk about fetal personhood, where the idea 145 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:54,020 comes from, all the surprising ways in which it can be applied, and where 146 00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:57,620 things could be heading next. And let's start with the fact that the basic 147 00:09:57,620 --> 00:10:02,240 concept of a fetus being its own person with distinct rights is nothing new. 148 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:06,040 In fact, here is one of its major proponents laying out the argument in 149 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:12,860 1984. I believe that until and unless someone can establish that the unborn 150 00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:15,620 child is not a living human being, 151 00:10:16,410 --> 00:10:21,370 then that child is already protected by the Constitution, which guarantees life, 152 00:10:21,410 --> 00:10:23,410 liberty, and the pursuit of happiness to all of us. 153 00:10:23,650 --> 00:10:24,650 Yeah, there are you. 154 00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:29,770 It seems you cannot trace the source of any modern problem without a cameo from 155 00:10:29,770 --> 00:10:35,370 this messy bitch. He truly is the Forrest Gump of societal ills. But the 156 00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:37,870 thing is, Reagan could believe that all he liked. 157 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:42,380 It still wasn't law in the US. In fact, when the Supreme Court decided Roe v. 158 00:10:42,460 --> 00:10:46,920 Wade, it explicitly rejected fetal personhood, stating the word person, as 159 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:50,060 used in the 14th Amendment, does not include the unborn. 160 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:55,560 However, it did leave the door open a crack by holding that the state has an 161 00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:59,680 important and legitimate interest in protecting the potentiality of human 162 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:04,040 life. And that was no small thing, because it meant that as long as states 163 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,360 didn't explicitly ban abortion... 164 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:10,490 They were legally able to expand protections for fetuses, and for years, 165 00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:15,190 many did just that. Some states defined a person to include a fetus throughout 166 00:11:15,190 --> 00:11:18,730 their criminal codes, while in other places, prosecutors expanded their use 167 00:11:18,730 --> 00:11:22,490 of child abuse and neglect laws to police the conduct of pregnant women. 168 00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:27,710 But after Dobbs, the guardrails fully came off, because state legislators felt 169 00:11:27,710 --> 00:11:31,010 that they could push much more aggressively for fetal personhood 170 00:11:31,010 --> 00:11:33,670 legislation, with some pretty creative arguments. 171 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:38,760 Probably none more so than the one this North Dakota state legislator made last 172 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:44,920 year. We have to be brave enough, righteous enough, and have enough 173 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:48,700 integrity, not only to our oath of office, but to all the claims of being 174 00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:52,460 pro-life and to being Christian, and actually do what the word of God says. 175 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:58,720 And in case you don't know if a baby at conception is human or not, I would like 176 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:01,880 you to show me the first kangaroo or plant that came out of a woman's womb. 177 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:03,920 What? 178 00:12:04,770 --> 00:12:07,670 On earth are you talking about? 179 00:12:08,730 --> 00:12:13,190 Obviously no woman is pregnant with a kangaroo. I wouldn't blame any woman who 180 00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:16,790 wanted to fool around with one, especially this guy, or indeed this one 181 00:12:16,790 --> 00:12:18,910 right here. But that is not the point, is it? 182 00:12:19,290 --> 00:12:23,210 The point is, here is what's tricky about all of this. One side is saying, 183 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:27,130 hey, a woman should have a right to control what happens in her own body. 184 00:12:27,290 --> 00:12:30,770 And the other is saying, so you think you give birth to a kangaroo? 185 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:34,280 And I honestly don't know how we meet in the middle there. 186 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:38,180 But the obvious consequence of these laws is they treat the individual 187 00:12:38,180 --> 00:12:42,800 carrying the fetus as something less than a full human. And the very moment 188 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:48,000 you're pregnant, you become merely a means to an end. And it is not like some 189 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,680 legislators have needed much encouragement on that front. During an 190 00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:55,940 interview about an abortion law in Oklahoma in 2017, this guy, its sponsor, 191 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,160 referred to pregnant people as hosts. 192 00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:01,560 And his justification for doing so wasn't ideal. 193 00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:06,460 When I used the term host, it's not meant to degrade women. 194 00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:12,320 I actually went and Googled that and I went to Webster and I couldn't find a 195 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:13,320 better term. 196 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:20,740 I mean, look, congratulations, I guess, on going to Webster or whatever. 197 00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:25,800 But there are only a handful of situations where it's acceptable to call 198 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:29,340 a woman a host if she works front of house at a restaurant, if she invites 199 00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:32,720 you over for dinner, if she has her own talk show, or if you're talking about 200 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:36,580 Annabelle, host of the demonic spirit permanently trapped inside her. 201 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:40,740 And the thing about fetal personhood is it can be used not just to limit 202 00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:44,740 abortion, but to criminalise other conduct during pregnancy seen as 203 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:49,580 jeopardising a fetus in any way, like drinking or drug use. And look, no one 204 00:13:49,580 --> 00:13:53,850 is saying... that it's a great idea to drink or take drugs while pregnant. 205 00:13:53,890 --> 00:13:56,350 After all, you don't want your kid to come out too cool. 206 00:13:56,570 --> 00:14:01,890 But for many substances, the risks to a fetus, while real... 207 00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:06,400 are actually far more complex and often far less clear cut than the law assumes. 208 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:10,260 The problem is the law can take a zero tolerance approach and unfortunately 209 00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:14,660 many hospitals drug test pregnant women and their newborns often without their 210 00:14:14,660 --> 00:14:19,680 knowledge and in at least 27 states they're required by law to alert child 211 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:24,480 welfare agencies about a positive test. But that is a big issue especially given 212 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,640 drug tests can be notoriously inaccurate. 213 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:31,620 Just listen to this woman describe what a nurse told her right after she'd given 214 00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:32,780 birth to her second child. 215 00:14:33,060 --> 00:14:37,800 She told me that my drug screen tested positive for opioids, for morphine 216 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:42,180 specifically. Katie says the test results didn't make sense. 217 00:14:42,380 --> 00:14:46,300 She had never taken any opiates or illicit drugs. 218 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,500 But that day before coming to the hospital. 219 00:14:50,060 --> 00:14:55,080 She did have an everything bagel. For nearly a month, Katie was only allowed 220 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,140 supervised time with her children. 221 00:14:57,420 --> 00:15:01,860 And although she was breastfeeding, she had to leave her house at night. 222 00:15:02,180 --> 00:15:07,560 I would leave the house and I would scream in my car because I was so 223 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,940 devastated to leave her. 224 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:15,700 Sorry. That's okay. What was that like? It was torture. I mean, it was pain I've 225 00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:17,020 never felt before. 226 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:21,980 Katie, did you feel that there was a risk that if you didn't follow 227 00:15:21,980 --> 00:15:25,920 everything you were told to do, you could lose your children? Absolutely. 228 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,960 Yeah, all of that over a fucking bagel. 229 00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:34,640 It should not be possible for your life to get fucked up that badly just based 230 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:38,440 on what you had for breakfast. Unless, of course, the breakfast in question is 231 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:42,760 honey smacks, in which case, honestly, you kind of deserve whatever happens to 232 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:44,500 you. You're a bad person. 233 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:49,700 And the thing is, it's common knowledge that those drug screens are easily 234 00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:55,100 misinterpreted and often wrong, with false positive rates as high as 50%. But 235 00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:58,180 if you need convincing any further, please enjoy this lawyer that they 236 00:15:58,180 --> 00:16:02,480 talked to for that story, who brought a magnificent visual aid with her. 237 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,640 Here's a cup of my urine. 238 00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:07,880 If I give it to you, you can test it. Maybe it's positive. 239 00:16:08,580 --> 00:16:10,320 But it can't tell you if I'm a... 240 00:16:10,590 --> 00:16:15,770 addicted, undependent, and yet for thousands of women in this country and 241 00:16:15,770 --> 00:16:20,770 families, probably millions, a drug test is used as a parenting test. 242 00:16:21,130 --> 00:16:27,330 Okay, so a few things. First, I'm not sure that's quite as exonerating as you 243 00:16:27,330 --> 00:16:32,450 want it to be, as being able to produce a jar of piss unprompted might be the 244 00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:35,690 most definitely on drugs behavior I have ever seen. 245 00:16:36,070 --> 00:16:37,250 And also... 246 00:16:37,820 --> 00:16:41,620 Well, I'm completely on that lawyer's side. I can't help wondering if she's 247 00:16:41,620 --> 00:16:42,840 had a cup of water today. 248 00:16:43,740 --> 00:16:49,180 And even if she has, would she like me to get her another one? 249 00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:54,760 And referrals to law enforcement over alleged drug use during pregnancy are 250 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:55,920 not remotely uncommon. 251 00:16:56,240 --> 00:17:01,380 One investigation found in a six-year period at least 70,000 such cases across 252 00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:05,060 21 states, a number which is almost certainly an undercount. 253 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:10,500 And in many cases, the referrals began with false positive results from flawed 254 00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:15,260 drug tests. But look, let's acknowledge that sometimes a positive drug test does 255 00:17:15,260 --> 00:17:19,300 indicate that someone has used drugs. Well, to hear some lawmakers tell it, we 256 00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:23,400 need to criminalize that because how else are we going to encourage expectant 257 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:24,819 mothers to clean up their act? 258 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:29,480 You use the carrot and the stick. You know, the stick is, hey, this is hanging 259 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:33,760 over my head. If I don't get clean, if I don't get rid of this drug use. 260 00:17:34,460 --> 00:17:37,380 then I'm going to go to jail and I may lose my child. 261 00:17:37,620 --> 00:17:44,620 But if I test negative, if I do a good job of getting clean, I'm going 262 00:17:44,620 --> 00:17:47,340 to get to lead a normal life with my child. 263 00:17:47,740 --> 00:17:53,740 Wait, that is just a terrible analogy because if the stick is the fear of 264 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,600 going to jail and the carrot... 265 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,720 is getting to lead a normal life with your child. And it feels like the 266 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:01,700 scenario that you are describing there is the same as the answer to the 267 00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:05,820 question, what has Owen Wilson been up to lately? By which I mean, mostly 268 00:18:05,820 --> 00:18:06,820 stick. 269 00:18:07,660 --> 00:18:11,480 But doctors will point out some key flaws with that approach. First, 270 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:15,600 quitting drugs cold turkey can cause complications that trigger miscarriage 271 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:19,420 or an early labour. And second, terrifyingly expectant mothers with the 272 00:18:19,420 --> 00:18:22,340 threat of jail time carries its own set of risks. 273 00:18:23,159 --> 00:18:26,720 Scaring the mom to the point that she's not coming to get health care during her 274 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:30,580 pregnancy or not disclosing her drug use so that she can get the support and 275 00:18:30,580 --> 00:18:33,100 treatment that she needs, none of those things are protecting the baby. 276 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:36,880 Putting the mom in jail and taking the baby away is not protecting the baby. 277 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:39,880 There are lots of unsafe things that women do during pregnancy. 278 00:18:40,340 --> 00:18:45,140 I might recommend that they take a certain medication for diabetes and they 279 00:18:45,140 --> 00:18:47,680 don't take it, and their sugars are really high. 280 00:18:48,709 --> 00:18:52,390 Very harmful to them and their baby, but no one's putting them in jail or taking 281 00:18:52,390 --> 00:18:57,490 their baby away Of course right there are plenty of things women shouldn't be 282 00:18:57,490 --> 00:19:00,970 allowed to do while they're pregnant But we let them anyway like eating sushi or 283 00:19:00,970 --> 00:19:06,010 bungee jumping or driving or math or is anybody going to stop me right now? 284 00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:11,000 I'm listing things that I, John, think women shouldn't be able to do. Someone 285 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:15,300 should have jumped in and stopped me by now. None of you are my real friends. 286 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:19,680 That was a test and you all failed. We are in a fight right now. 287 00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:26,380 The point is, babies clearly do better when their moms go to doctor's 288 00:19:26,380 --> 00:19:30,940 appointments and ideally are not thrown in jail as part of a bullshit carrot and 289 00:19:30,940 --> 00:19:34,020 stick approach. And the way some of these laws work in practice... 290 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:35,780 is an absolute nightmare. 291 00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:40,160 That woman you saw earlier is by no means the only one who wound up dragged 292 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:43,780 into court over a state's concerns for her fetus. Think what happened to this 293 00:19:43,780 --> 00:19:47,660 Wisconsin woman who'd been using meth, but when she learned she was pregnant, 294 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,100 immediately stopped. 295 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:53,100 She voluntarily checked into a hospital seeking help for depression and other 296 00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:56,640 issues. While there, a urine test came back positive for drugs. And when 297 00:19:56,640 --> 00:20:01,860 doctors asked her about her past usage, she was completely honest with them. And 298 00:20:01,860 --> 00:20:02,860 for good reason. 299 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:10,100 My decision to tell the doctors about my drug use was solely so that if I 300 00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:14,540 did anything wrong and they could give me something that would help my baby 301 00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:18,960 because of what I had done, I had no hesitation because he was the only thing 302 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:19,960 I was thinking about. 303 00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:26,280 The ER doctor was like, don't worry. All that matters is that you're here and 304 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,280 you're getting help now. 305 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,280 He's like, your baby will be fine. 306 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,720 He left the room. 307 00:20:32,430 --> 00:20:34,010 And it started from there. 308 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:38,290 Now, as you can probably guess, things didn't go great from that point on, 309 00:20:38,310 --> 00:20:41,690 which shouldn't really be a surprise, because, and it started from there, 310 00:20:41,810 --> 00:20:46,310 isn't generally the lead-in to an uplifting story. It's an ominous set-up, 311 00:20:46,310 --> 00:20:49,610 right up there with, it was a dark and stormy night, or, welcome, welcome, 312 00:20:49,690 --> 00:20:50,950 welcome to last week's night. 313 00:20:52,270 --> 00:20:56,250 And what followed was a fucking nightmare, because when she tried to 314 00:20:56,250 --> 00:20:57,990 leave the hospital, this happened. 315 00:20:58,470 --> 00:21:03,230 When the social worker came into my room and said, there's a hearing, we need you 316 00:21:03,230 --> 00:21:06,330 to come to the conference room right now, it was a shock. 317 00:21:08,390 --> 00:21:11,830 And then all of a sudden, like, there's a speakerphone in the middle of the 318 00:21:11,830 --> 00:21:17,870 room, and she's putting a judge on. This is the time and date set for a temporary 319 00:21:17,870 --> 00:21:19,150 physical custody hearing. 320 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:24,820 The guardian ad litem for the unborn child is Michael Schiffler. Ms. 321 00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:27,700 Gropp, what's the county's position on where Ms. 322 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:31,240 Blacher is going to be placed until the child is born? 323 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:35,120 I didn't know what was going on, and the first thing I said was, I don't want to 324 00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,240 talk unless I have a lawyer. 325 00:21:36,810 --> 00:21:42,010 The 14-week-old fetus had a lawyer at this hearing who was taking a position 326 00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:47,130 adverse to Tammy and was represented by counsel, where Tammy, who had asked for 327 00:21:47,130 --> 00:21:50,030 a lawyer, did not have one and was denied one. 328 00:21:50,370 --> 00:21:54,370 Yeah, the fetus had a lawyer, but she didn't. 329 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:58,260 And remember, this happened when she was just 14 weeks pregnant. At that point, 330 00:21:58,300 --> 00:22:01,120 you may not even be able to tell the sex from an ultrasound. 331 00:22:01,780 --> 00:22:05,060 Honestly, if you tried to do a gender reveal that early, the closest you might 332 00:22:05,060 --> 00:22:06,840 get is, it's a plaintiff! 333 00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:12,500 And the state didn't allow her to leave the hospital on the grounds that doing 334 00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:16,760 so was contrary to the unborn child's best interest. In the end, after she 335 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:20,440 refused court-ordered inpatient drug treatment, she was jailed for 18 days, 336 00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:25,800 including about 36 hours in solitary confinement, which is arguably a weird 337 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:29,520 thing to do to someone whose health you're supposedly trying to safeguard. 338 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:34,620 And amazingly, it can get even worse, because under fetal personhood laws... 339 00:22:34,780 --> 00:22:38,640 Pregnancy loss can create yet another path into the criminal system, with 340 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,820 miscarriages and stillbirths sometimes treated as suspicious. 341 00:22:42,180 --> 00:22:46,160 There are multiple stories of women being investigated or even charged with 342 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:50,220 crimes, including murder, following a pregnancy loss, which is utterly 343 00:22:50,220 --> 00:22:53,620 bonkers, given that every year in the US there are approximately 5 million 344 00:22:53,620 --> 00:22:57,650 pregnancies. And of those, about a million end in a miscarriage, and over 345 00:22:57,650 --> 00:23:01,830 20,000 end in stillbirth. And some of the worst consequences of everything 346 00:23:01,830 --> 00:23:05,750 that you've seen tonight have fallen on women like Cherry Mason, who tested 347 00:23:05,750 --> 00:23:08,490 positive for drugs at the hospital after a stillbirth. 348 00:23:08,690 --> 00:23:13,370 She wound up taking a plea deal for manslaughter as a result, not because 349 00:23:13,370 --> 00:23:17,250 she thought she was guilty, but because, in her words, I knew the way that it 350 00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:18,270 works here in Oklahoma. 351 00:23:18,870 --> 00:23:23,090 She not only got a 12-year prison sentence, which took her away from her 352 00:23:23,090 --> 00:23:27,060 other children, She was also required to register with the state as a violent 353 00:23:27,060 --> 00:23:31,580 offender upon her release. And the whole situation is summed up by her daughter 354 00:23:31,580 --> 00:23:32,580 pretty nicely. 355 00:23:54,220 --> 00:23:56,840 They want to help people with addiction. I think they just want to make the 356 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:57,860 people with addiction go away. 357 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,040 Yeah, that is fucking awful. 358 00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:04,480 And honestly, if that had happened to my mom, I think I'd also have smoked one 359 00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,060 K2's worth of cigarettes. 360 00:24:07,020 --> 00:24:10,840 And look, those who push fetal persons will insist that it's based on a 361 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:14,800 principled stance about the sanctity of life from the moment of conception. 362 00:24:15,060 --> 00:24:19,340 But there was an interesting moment two years ago that exposed a bit of a crack 363 00:24:19,340 --> 00:24:23,420 in that argument, and it concerned this bizarre news story out of Alabama. 364 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,900 This morning, a first of its kind decision by the Alabama Supreme Court 365 00:24:27,900 --> 00:24:32,400 that could put families' access to fertility treatments in the post-Roe era 366 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:33,400 at risk. 367 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:38,240 The court determining frozen embryos qualify as people under its state law, 368 00:24:38,540 --> 00:24:43,060 ruling unborn children are children without exception based on developmental 369 00:24:43,060 --> 00:24:47,520 stage. The chief justice, in a concurring opinion, quoting the Bible, 370 00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:50,280 citing the sanctity of unborn life. 371 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:54,460 The case in question involved a patient who managed to access the freezer 372 00:24:54,460 --> 00:24:57,580 storing frozen embryos at an Alabama fertility clinic. 373 00:24:57,820 --> 00:25:02,360 The patient picked up multiple embryos and mistakenly dropped and destroyed 374 00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:07,240 them. The state's high court says that patient can now be held liable in a 375 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,360 wrongful death lawsuit. 376 00:25:08,780 --> 00:25:14,380 Okay, setting aside the weird Mr. Bean antics of that person walking into a 377 00:25:14,380 --> 00:25:18,960 freezer and juggling frozen embryos for some reason, that might actually be a 378 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,340 pretty useful logic test, because I would argue anything that you can 379 00:25:22,340 --> 00:25:25,680 accidentally spill just isn't a person yet. 380 00:25:26,140 --> 00:25:30,340 That ruling was following the fetal personhood argument to its logical 381 00:25:30,340 --> 00:25:32,060 conclusion, because if... 382 00:25:32,300 --> 00:25:37,240 Every fertilised egg is a person. That would mean that every IVF clinic, which 383 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:41,740 need to produce a lot of embryos to ensure success, probably then needs to 384 00:25:41,740 --> 00:25:45,820 be shut down, as they wouldn't just be storing extra embryos to maximise the 385 00:25:45,820 --> 00:25:49,920 chance of successful implantation. Under that logic, they'd essentially be 386 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:54,060 warehouses where human beings regularly die. And we frankly don't need any more 387 00:25:54,060 --> 00:25:57,780 of those, given that Amazon has got that beat nicely covered for us. 388 00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:02,320 But in the wake of that ruling, there was intent public outcry. And Alabama 389 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:07,500 suddenly rushed through a law aimed at protecting patients and providers from 390 00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:11,660 legal liability when embryos are damaged or destroyed during IVF. And I've got to 391 00:26:11,660 --> 00:26:17,140 say, it is pretty telling that many of the often men pushing for fetal 392 00:26:17,140 --> 00:26:21,300 personhood are completely unable to defend that double standard. In fact, 393 00:26:21,340 --> 00:26:25,180 just watch Senator Tommy Tuberville pictured here in natural poses that 394 00:26:25,180 --> 00:26:27,280 scream, I've touched footballs. 395 00:26:28,010 --> 00:26:31,230 Get asked about that judge's ruling right after it happened. 396 00:26:31,740 --> 00:26:36,020 Do you have a reaction to the Alabama Supreme Court ruling on the fact that 397 00:26:36,020 --> 00:26:37,020 embryos are children? 398 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,100 Yeah, I was all for it. We need to have more kids. We need to have an 399 00:26:40,100 --> 00:26:43,200 opportunity to do that. And I thought this was the right thing to do. 400 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:47,460 IVF is used to have more children. And right now, IVF services are paused at 401 00:26:47,460 --> 00:26:50,400 some of the clinics in Alabama. Aren't you concerned that this could impact 402 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:51,820 people who are trying to have kids? 403 00:26:52,420 --> 00:26:55,180 Well, that's for another conversation. 404 00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:59,460 People need to have that. We need more kids. We need the people to have the 405 00:26:59,460 --> 00:27:00,460 opportunity to have kids. 406 00:27:10,919 --> 00:27:13,420 Well, that's a hard one. It really is. It's really hard. 407 00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:16,360 Because, again, you want people to have that opportunity. 408 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,900 And that's why I was telling her, we need more kids. 409 00:27:20,340 --> 00:27:21,500 Okay, okay, enough. 410 00:27:21,940 --> 00:27:26,060 Can we please agree? No more laws about women's bodies made by men who've at 411 00:27:26,060 --> 00:27:30,000 some point definitely Googled, when girl put in tampon, why not cum? 412 00:27:30,910 --> 00:27:35,970 Look, whatever the rhetoric used to justify fetal personhood, in practice, 413 00:27:36,150 --> 00:27:40,350 it effectively treats women as incubators. As that piss lawyer from 414 00:27:40,350 --> 00:27:45,150 before, complimentary by the way, points out, they're effectively stripping women 415 00:27:45,150 --> 00:27:46,590 of their rights and autonomy. 416 00:27:47,070 --> 00:27:49,310 There is no way. 417 00:27:50,030 --> 00:27:54,250 to add fertilized eggs, embryos, and fetuses to the Constitution without 418 00:27:54,250 --> 00:27:59,530 subtracting pregnant women. If we pass laws that treat fertilized eggs, 419 00:27:59,570 --> 00:28:04,350 embryos, and fetuses as if they're entirely separate, then women will also 420 00:28:04,350 --> 00:28:08,390 be subjected to a permanent second-class status. 421 00:28:09,090 --> 00:28:13,230 Exactly. Women would effectively be second-class citizens, or as this 422 00:28:13,230 --> 00:28:14,870 arsehole likes to call them, hosts. 423 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,860 Though remember, he looked it up in Webster's and apparently that makes it 424 00:28:18,860 --> 00:28:19,860 fine. 425 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:24,140 So what can be done here? Well, in some states, legislators have introduced 426 00:28:24,140 --> 00:28:27,840 bills designed to highlight just how stupid these laws are, like 427 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:31,840 Mississippi's Contraception Begins at Erection Act, which proposed... 428 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:37,320 imposing fines of up to $10,000 on those who discharge genetic material without 429 00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:41,580 the intent to fertilize an embryo, which frankly means I'm about to owe a lot of 430 00:28:41,580 --> 00:28:45,660 money because I've now seen this picture and I need to do something about it. But 431 00:28:45,660 --> 00:28:51,880 look, much more serious solutions can include states repealing or removing 432 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:56,130 fetal personhood language embedded in state law, or at the very least, When 433 00:28:56,130 --> 00:29:00,090 they pass laws that recognise the loss of a pregnancy, do so without punishing 434 00:29:00,090 --> 00:29:01,910 the person who was pregnant. 435 00:29:02,190 --> 00:29:06,010 We could also end secret drug tests in hospitals, which, to their credit, some 436 00:29:06,010 --> 00:29:09,730 have done. At one in Connecticut, doctors are now directed to test only if 437 00:29:09,730 --> 00:29:11,790 doing so will inform medical care. 438 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,940 And since that policy changed, it's curbed unnecessary child welfare 439 00:29:14,940 --> 00:29:19,660 reports, which dropped by almost 50% without harming babies. In fact, since 440 00:29:19,660 --> 00:29:23,620 then, not a single baby came into the hospital with uncontrolled withdrawal 441 00:29:23,620 --> 00:29:27,940 symptoms. And I know this story has been bleak and very scary. 442 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:29,660 So if you are pregnant... 443 00:29:30,140 --> 00:29:32,840 and live somewhere where you're vulnerable to the legal perils that 444 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:35,920 you've seen tonight. You should know organisations like Pregnancy Justice and 445 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:40,620 If, When, How run legal helplines that you can contact at these numbers. I hate 446 00:29:40,620 --> 00:29:43,240 that that is necessary, but we are where we are. 447 00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,460 And with any luck, we won't stay here for long. 448 00:29:46,660 --> 00:29:51,580 Because look, even planned, relatively low-risk pregnancies are obviously life 449 00:29:51,580 --> 00:29:55,880 and body-altering experiences. And it does not seem radical to me to want to 450 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,160 be able to control your own life and body throughout that experience. 451 00:29:59,980 --> 00:30:04,960 And hopefully one day we'll be able to finally get to a point where no one and 452 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:10,720 nothing, from idiot politicians to fucking everything bagels, can take that 453 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:12,600 from you. And now, this. 454 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:18,840 And now, these fan hosts have just one request for their callers. 455 00:30:19,220 --> 00:30:24,480 There's only one thing we should be concerned about right now, and I believe 456 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,320 that it is January the 6th. 457 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,120 Turn your TV down, Ted. You're already on. 458 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,460 Wendy, you're going to have to turn down your television. 459 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:37,840 Are you there? 460 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:41,080 I'm here. Okay, you're going to have to turn down your TV real quick. 461 00:30:41,420 --> 00:30:42,420 Hello? 462 00:30:42,580 --> 00:30:43,499 Yes, 463 00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:44,500 I'm here. 464 00:30:46,380 --> 00:30:47,380 I'm on the air, huh? 465 00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:50,180 Yes, you're on the air, but you've got to mute your TV and talk on the phone. 466 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:51,600 Oh, I'm sorry. 467 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:55,700 I just woke up to this, so give me like a second. Let me turn this down. 468 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:57,560 Good morning. How are you? 469 00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:58,760 Everybody good? 470 00:30:58,980 --> 00:31:00,200 Everybody's good. Go ahead, Ray. 471 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:06,640 I'm wanting to discuss the... Hey, Leonard, I'm going to put you on hold 472 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:09,420 because you've got to turn down your television. Go ahead, Jesse. You turn 473 00:31:09,420 --> 00:31:11,940 down your TV and talk through your phone. And, Jeff, you've got to turn 474 00:31:11,940 --> 00:31:15,940 that TV down. And, Dan, it's best if you turn your TV down. Hey, how are you 475 00:31:15,940 --> 00:31:16,439 doing today? 476 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,940 Doing well. Turn your TV down and just go ahead with your comment. All right, 477 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:22,040 Helen, Helen, Helen, please turn down the TV. 478 00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:23,600 Listen and talk through the phone. 479 00:31:26,639 --> 00:31:29,600 Okay. Randy, turn down your TV so we can hear you, please. 480 00:31:31,060 --> 00:31:32,260 Okay. I'm sorry. 481 00:31:32,700 --> 00:31:35,900 It's all right. I can't hear the program. You guys keep cutting me off 482 00:31:35,900 --> 00:31:36,900 from the program. 483 00:31:37,340 --> 00:31:40,760 When you ask me to turn my TV down, I hear the program. 484 00:31:41,340 --> 00:31:44,140 What's your question or comment? And then you can go ahead and turn your TV 485 00:31:44,140 --> 00:31:45,140 back up and listen. 486 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:50,200 Okay. I'll give it when I get to the person there. 487 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:53,200 It's not okay? 488 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:56,140 You're on with Thomas Honig. What's your question? 489 00:31:56,620 --> 00:31:58,580 Oh, okay. I didn't know that was on the program. 490 00:31:58,780 --> 00:31:59,780 Good morning, Greta. 491 00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:06,440 I have a pet peeve. People, turn down your TV sets when you come and talk. Why 492 00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:10,040 do you think that you sound intelligent if you can't turn down your TV? 493 00:32:12,260 --> 00:32:13,139 Moving on. 494 00:32:13,140 --> 00:32:18,080 Before we go, a quick update about soap operas. You may remember back in March 495 00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:19,900 after discovering Stephen A. Smith. 496 00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:23,100 I've been a character on General Hospital for a decade. I offered myself 497 00:32:23,100 --> 00:32:25,640 to any soap opera that would have me on a few conditions. 498 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,540 One, I wanted to play a character with a ridiculous name. Two, I wanted a juicy 499 00:32:29,540 --> 00:32:31,860 storyline. And three, I wanted to be slapped. 500 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:36,040 Well, as I've mentioned, both General Hospital and Days of Our Lives came 501 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:40,220 through with offers and both have now aired. So, given that, my hot soap 502 00:32:40,220 --> 00:32:41,240 summer is now done. 503 00:32:42,060 --> 00:32:45,600 I wanted to take a moment to let you know exactly what happened. Let's start 504 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:48,640 with General Hospital, where I looked like this. That's right. 505 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:53,640 I got to act while sporting hair that looks like if L'Oreal sold a colour 506 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:55,160 called Midlife Crisis Black. 507 00:32:56,020 --> 00:33:00,240 And to General Hospital's credit, they met all my requirements and more. First, 508 00:33:00,340 --> 00:33:04,180 my character got to arrive by helicopter, flanked by a pair of armed 509 00:33:04,180 --> 00:33:09,480 goons. And I got to do a dramatic walk, during which I bravely shot in the 510 00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:12,200 general direction of a guy who was already on the ground. 511 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:17,180 It's called being an action star, by the way. Unless you're me or Vin Diesel, you 512 00:33:17,180 --> 00:33:18,180 really wouldn't understand. 513 00:33:18,990 --> 00:33:21,870 And then in my next scene, I revealed my true identity. 514 00:33:29,710 --> 00:33:31,650 Good morning, Agent Jax. 515 00:33:34,030 --> 00:33:35,450 Drew? I am indeed. 516 00:33:36,790 --> 00:33:38,350 You're the head of the WSB. 517 00:33:38,710 --> 00:33:40,870 Feel free to call me Z. 518 00:33:41,590 --> 00:33:43,290 Okay, what does Z stand for? 519 00:33:44,210 --> 00:33:45,750 It's my nom de guerre. 520 00:33:47,050 --> 00:33:48,050 Right. 521 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:53,980 Damn. I played Z, the head of an international spy agency, but for some 522 00:33:53,980 --> 00:33:57,720 reason has agents in the fictional town of Port Charles. And quick side note, 523 00:33:57,780 --> 00:34:00,720 you may remember, we only stumbled into this because one of our writers' mothers 524 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:05,240 is obsessed with General Hospital. So you'll be happy to know that when Connie 525 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:08,679 of Noonan, Georgia, saw my first episode, she texted her daughter and I 526 00:34:08,679 --> 00:34:10,480 quote, Very James Bond. 527 00:34:11,790 --> 00:34:15,090 Thank you, Connie, but you're actually wrong. And to be honest, not for the 528 00:34:15,090 --> 00:34:18,429 first time either. Remember when you grounded your daughter for stealing the 529 00:34:18,429 --> 00:34:21,510 cupcake tins that had gone missing in your house? You were wrong then, too. 530 00:34:21,590 --> 00:34:25,610 She didn't steal those tins. She didn't even touch them. It was probably her 531 00:34:25,610 --> 00:34:29,290 brother. And yet, she got the punishment, and look at her now, using 532 00:34:29,290 --> 00:34:31,530 me to roast your ass for it on television. 533 00:34:32,510 --> 00:34:36,290 So... So, general hospitals, I've already met... 534 00:34:36,540 --> 00:34:40,000 Two of my conditions there. Stupid name, juicy storyline. As for getting slapped, 535 00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:44,280 well, they knocked that and me out of the park, too, because it turns out that 536 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,659 agent's mother was not happy with me. 537 00:34:47,020 --> 00:34:50,179 I spent the whole night praying that she was going to be okay, and I can't even 538 00:34:50,179 --> 00:34:53,280 get into her room to check on her because your agents won't let me. At 539 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:56,179 oversight, I'll have your name added to the list of approved visitors. I don't 540 00:34:56,179 --> 00:34:57,180 want to be added to the list. 541 00:34:57,420 --> 00:34:58,620 I want my daughter back. 542 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,580 Then let me put this in language that you will understand. 543 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:03,540 That ain't gonna happen. 544 00:35:14,350 --> 00:35:19,670 slap, a dramatic close-up, and me doing a voice so wrong it is genuinely 545 00:35:19,670 --> 00:35:23,330 embarrassing. That was my honest attempt at an American accent. 546 00:35:23,890 --> 00:35:27,910 I can't tell you why it's Southern. I can only tell you I was trying my 547 00:35:27,910 --> 00:35:32,090 hardest. And frankly, I could have died happy after that. I got to have the shit 548 00:35:32,090 --> 00:35:36,550 slapped out of me after an iconic soap actor screamed in my face, I want my 549 00:35:36,550 --> 00:35:37,550 daughter back. 550 00:35:37,690 --> 00:35:42,570 What more could anyone ask for? And yet, the soap gods smiled on me again. 551 00:35:42,630 --> 00:35:46,220 Because this week, I also appeared on Days of Our Lives in scenes alongside 552 00:35:46,220 --> 00:35:50,800 soap legends like Jack A. Harry and Susan C. Forth-Hayes. And the Days of 553 00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:54,660 Our Lives team met my demands in a whole different way, because instead of being 554 00:35:54,660 --> 00:35:59,220 an international spy boss, they wrote me a character a little more my speed. 555 00:35:59,660 --> 00:36:03,580 I'm Devlin St. John, Chief City Water Inspector. 556 00:36:07,540 --> 00:36:11,040 I'm the only thing standing between this town and a catastrophic plumbing 557 00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:12,040 failure. 558 00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:13,920 A literal sewage apocalypse. 559 00:36:14,740 --> 00:36:19,500 Yeah. They made me Salem's chief city water inspector, which, let's be honest, 560 00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:23,260 is perfect casting. If you were going to bottle my essence and sell it as 561 00:36:23,260 --> 00:36:26,480 cologne, it would be called chief city water inspector. 562 00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:31,290 Now... As for the hair, I agree, it's absolutely incredible. 563 00:36:31,890 --> 00:36:36,270 It's been reported this week that it is a wig I brought to set from home. 564 00:36:36,490 --> 00:36:40,390 And while it wasn't technically from home, we did actually provide that wig, 565 00:36:40,390 --> 00:36:43,970 and for good reason. I've seen myself act. I knew the hair was going to have 566 00:36:43,970 --> 00:36:45,470 to do 90% of the work. 567 00:36:46,210 --> 00:36:49,670 I'll be honest, I was going for a healthy John Stamos look, but instead, 568 00:36:49,910 --> 00:36:53,110 it appears I ended up looking more like Tina from Bob's Burgers. 569 00:36:53,570 --> 00:36:58,170 And if you're wondering whether I got slapped on Days of Our Lives, not only. 570 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:03,780 was I slapped by a man wearing elegant silk pyjamas. I also got to slap him, 571 00:37:03,900 --> 00:37:08,620 which felt utterly incredible. But wait, I was also stabbed with a syringe, and 572 00:37:08,620 --> 00:37:13,120 not once, not even twice, but three different times. 573 00:37:13,420 --> 00:37:16,000 And if that wasn't enough, this happened too. 574 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:19,240 You're right not to trust me. What? 575 00:37:19,980 --> 00:37:21,140 Oh, not again. 576 00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,020 Please, no, I don't want to... 577 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:33,320 you not entertained watching that makes me feel the way i assume matt damon felt 578 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:37,200 after seeing the first cut of the oddity both proud and impressed that my body 579 00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:40,860 could even do that which again you wouldn't understand you're not an action 580 00:37:40,860 --> 00:37:45,680 star like i am now and look i wish i could take full credit for what a feast 581 00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:49,720 that clip is but it's all thanks to the days of our lives team i only demanded 582 00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:53,410 to be slapped I didn't say anything about being tased, but even I admit, 583 00:37:53,590 --> 00:37:56,730 it's pretty cathartic to see me incapacitated to the point of silence. 584 00:37:56,950 --> 00:38:00,370 And look, I won't get into all the twists and turns that my character got 585 00:38:00,370 --> 00:38:03,590 into, but in my final scene, I got a hell of a send-off. 586 00:38:03,950 --> 00:38:06,630 You're a breath of fresh air, Mr St John. 587 00:38:08,010 --> 00:38:14,270 You remind me of that man on television who calls himself a comedian, but mostly 588 00:38:14,270 --> 00:38:15,990 just shouts the news. 589 00:38:16,730 --> 00:38:22,270 At a speed no human can understand it. I just wish we would have met under 590 00:38:22,270 --> 00:38:23,330 different circumstances. 591 00:38:31,550 --> 00:38:34,150 Good night, sweet prince. 592 00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:51,480 Hygienically frozen. 593 00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:56,840 Meaning technically, I could always come back. In fact, neither show ended up 594 00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:59,740 killing me off, though to be honest, that doesn't necessarily mean anything 595 00:38:59,740 --> 00:39:02,660 anyway. In soap operas, no one ever really dies. 596 00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:07,380 So a massive thank you to everyone at both General Hospital and Days of Our 597 00:39:07,380 --> 00:39:11,420 Lives for welcoming me into your worlds and making my soap opera dreams come 598 00:39:11,420 --> 00:39:13,040 true. I wish... 599 00:39:13,310 --> 00:39:17,870 I could say that being surrounded by so many talented professionals has made me 600 00:39:17,870 --> 00:39:23,450 a better actor. But I think deep down, we all know that ain't gonna happen. 601 00:39:24,490 --> 00:39:26,990 That ain't gonna happen. 602 00:39:28,110 --> 00:39:31,890 That is our show. Thank you so much for watching. We'll see you next week. Good 603 00:39:31,890 --> 00:39:34,430 night. That ain't gonna happen. 604 00:39:34,970 --> 00:39:36,410 It ain't gonna happen. 605 00:39:50,779 --> 00:39:51,779 Everything's gonna be okay. 606 00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:53,840 I'm here to help.